Excuse me!!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : HASTA LA VISTA

2009-09-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

I was not paid for my work , though appreciated . I asked once , they turned me down , and i never asked again . I will not , i follow this rule

" I'll ask , i'll Remind , but i'll not Beg "

Unfortunately , Neither NAVEEN , nor JOHN , nor RIMPY , was paid. I quit the job , soon many did . And finally the rules changed . They , the trio , had to comply . They offered to pay a minimum salary even if requirements were not met out . This is fairer , though not completely . Because , fortunes cannot be the basis of salary . They can only be the basis for rewards . We worked , we supposed o be paid . We could not meet targets . And this doesnot mean that we work for free !!

I wish i had some written , evidences of my work . I could have done anything , by fair means ..

PS : HASTA LA VISTA !!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : BOYZONE

2009-06-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

The story many a times crossed the working hour limits , location too !!

Road Trip to Kamrej

Once , out of excitment, I and NAVEEN blessed our Managers ... Ya , now i strongly believe that we actually blessed them . They needed somebody to travel all the way to KAMREJ to collect an EMI cheque from a TALUQDAR at TALUQDAR OFFICE .

EMI liya hain toh bharna hi padega !!!

Those days both of us often repented for being born short of wings . We were eager to fly ..

So , I and NAVEEN , very excited , open heartedly accepted to the request and set off . The best part : we were so much excited that we dint even bother to collect the office address , also were under the illusion that we have to go to KIM . Dint even bother to listen the name of the place properly . Even today , i wonder , how did we mistake KIM for KAMREJ , cause they dont even sound the same . And where is KIM ?? ... NAVEEN knew it !! How do we get there ?? I knew a way other than the highway route . The RANDER route .

Kick kick boodoomm !!! ... first gear .. and .. on the way JAI and VEERU !!!

On the way , we stopped at many a places . First break was at a junction . We stopped for puffs and cold drink . NAVEEN is a good driver , i mean rider , .. no , driver ... gash !! .. am confused !! ... have you ever seen a bike driver ?? ... lol !!! .. okay whatever !! ..

In our circle we had two bike drivers , NAVEEN and GAURAV . While the former's silence tells us how great he feels riding a bike , the later's only talent , non stop blabber, does it all . And many a times , watching these mythological movies , i wonder how many ages he might have meditated to have been bestowed with such a talent .

Huh !! forget it .. Where were we ?? ... ya , on the bike .. heading towards KIM ..!!

The day , bright sunny , we were totally tired , paused many a times to quench our thirst . I , had done camping , way back in school . It was there that i learned the way of quick body cooling . And so , was regularly drenching my sandel . Keeping tight contact with my sandel , as long as the water stays cool , and when it turns hot , letting air pass through between the foot and the sandel . Similarly , drenching my ears ... !!

Finally , we reached KIM . We asked localites about the address , People were guiding us ahead , one guy , second guy and then the third guy . I wonder , with such a small town , cant people even realize that this address is atleast of their town or not ?? ... well , they could not . And guess , it was only the sixth or the seventh person , we asked , realised that the address is not of their town . i.e, the locality we were asking for was not in KIM !!! .... Then , we called PEPSODENT DHUSHOOM DHUSHOOM !! and then realised where were we supposed to go exactly . The trip , then turned smooth . We chose the highway , to KAMREJ . On the way , we halted to have Ice Sharbat , I had it for the first time and have been longing to have one , similar , till now ...!!!

Late night Party

Though our bosses were just pretending , we were all very much enjoying were so attached to each other . As it was expected , a party idea started sprouting !! .. so finally , we all decided to party !! .. I wanted it to be rather simple , but then the guys who have BOOST regularly , were they gonna let that be simple ?? .. how could they ...BOOST effect !! ...

Girls were asked to keep out . Our , Story brewer GAURAV along with NAVEEN made arrangements . I and JOHN maintained silence . Why bother people , who want to strain themselves ?? ... And the idea of , just entering the scene and begin enjoying was working , we preferred not to make it otherwise .

BLUFFMASTER dropped a few worthy drops on the floor and the party began . The idea was that if ever somebody stumbles , the it the floor thats come for rescue .

Patiyala peg lagake , talli ho gaye ... !!

I had made a commitment that i will not booze , until something desirous comes my way , I kept my word , I dint . Biriyani , which i had given a word for , i lived upto it . I thank papa for helping me be committed to my word . He is good at cooking .

It was here , that our beloved GAURAV earned the famous title ' PHEKU ' which we later modified to ' SALIM PHEKU ' after watching the movie ' ANGREZ ' . He claimed capacities of a gladiator boozer but could not match even beginners ... !! Well , JOHN was the was the TAURUS BULL .Abyssmal , he just could not be satisfied ... !! BLUFFMASTER , slowly , while others gossiped , slipped into dream world , i was wondering how could that happen . But then , realised it soon , dont i call him BLUFFMASTER . And the best part is that only a bluffmaster can recognise another . Indeed , Mr. BLUFFMASTER recognized GAURAV ...!!!

PS : GOD SAVE ME FROM GAURAV !!!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : SHAME

2009-05-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

All the 150 hours full of fun and drama , had one and only down . Shamefull and frustrating enough to shake the pillars of will , to continue .

Few days before we left , we were having a good time pass . A few of us stepped forward to dance a few steps on the music being played . I , before things began , walked out , to calm my head . NAVEEN joined me too . We walked out , refreshed ourselves , and as we were about to step inside NAVEEN asked for my mobile . I gave it to him , walked inside and sat opposite to PEPSODENT DHUSHOOM DHUSHOOM ,talking to her . After some time , Naveen walked in , had two mobiles in his hands , handed me mine and joined us . I then left the gossip , and went and sat with other colleagues . I sat right at the corner and laid my back against a pillar , next to me was a vacant seat where Naveen joined me .

Mean while the dance show was on .We applauded , often , cheered and enjoyed . Sitting opposite to me was Mr. BLUFFMASTER . As i started talking to him , from Behind the pillars came HETAL . She asked for sth , did sth which even i dont remember , and left .

After some time GAURAV asked for NAVEEN's mobile , to play a different track . But ... but NAVEEN 's mobile was nowhere to be found . Things took an ugly image .

While the mishap began , Mr. BLUFFMASTER walked out of the office and returned after a while . On returning he started his unnecessary conclusions and advices , which seemed quite disgusting . Also , this triggerred a thought that might be he is the culprit . Though , i dint suspect him at the first instance.

Without wasting a minute I along with NAVEEN , checked every nook and corner of the office . Tired , unfruitful , gave up the search . Then started the suspicion .

Who could have done it ? .
One who had an extra eye on it .
And in this category fell ' HETAL ' and ' SAHIL '
Who left the venue soon after ?
' Mr. BLUFFMASTER ' and ' SAHIL ' .
SAHIL left the venue soon after and did not return .
!!

Soon the suspicious eyes were on SAHIL . NAVEEN had to check his belongings and the search yielded nothing . Things turned real sour when NAVEEN went on to search Mr. BLUFFMASTER , in public , outside office , Damn!! . I , for him searched HETAL , JOHN and RIMPY's belongings.

Later , the managers , tactfull dispersed everybody for the sake of the job and before closing time called a meeting . Everyone was asked to get a clean chit from NAVEEN . The bad thing about this was that it was not done with desire , rather was done to compensate the humiliation Mr. BLUFFMASTER had to face ... poor NAVEEN !! I simpathise with him and stand by his side . Cause this was not fair .

My point was :
Everybody should have proved their innocence immediately rather than giving advices and being searched , on request .

Things started calming down . Soon the thought that took over was that what ever it may be the lost thing is never going to return .... lull followed ...

Later , one day while recollecting the story NAVEEN learned a new thing from me . He was unaware that HETAL had walked to our table from behing the Pillar .... and the expression that followed ... seemed like that of SHERLOCK HOLMES and DR . WATSON ' s , when they found a clue ... !!

And with in few days after many of us quit the job . HETAL showed up with a new mobile , the same one that NAVEEN lost , with a few superficial differences . The suspicious belief grew strong . But ,

Strong belief , after all is a belief and cannot be the reason for absolute certainity .

PS : PITIABLE IS A PERSON WHO BELIEVES THAT HIS CRIME HAS GONE UNNOTICED , FOR THE ALMIGHTY HAS ALREADY SEEN IT .

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : JOB DRAMA 2

2009-05-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

If i and Rimpy had such a time , so did others have .

When NAVEEN , took charge , he would begin self warm-up . More than getting to know about the family , he attended , he preferred to narrate his own story . And the job left for the family was just to nod , or to say ... " well done !! " ... " that's great !!" .

so the conversation would be like

" welcome to exciting holidays . How are you guys doing ?? "
" thank you ... we are doing just fine ... "
" Sir, I am J NAVEEN KUMAR . Did my engg . from SATHYABAMA "
" good"
" MY father is with ESSAR group "
" that's nice "
" I am planning to do my post-graduation , from the US "
" that is a great idea "
"... ... ..... ... ...... .. ..... .... ..... ..... "
" aha !! "
"... ... ..... ... ...... .. ..... .... ..... ..... "
" thats fine "
.
.
.
"... ... ..... ... ...... .. ..... .... ..... ..... "
" you are doing a great work , my best wishes for your future "
" thank u sir "
Warm up Finished !!
....this is why it deserves to be called a self warm-up ...

and this warm up .. with every family ...

While Rimpy handled things with outpours of ' Ha ha ' , JOHN used his weapon

" Right Sir .. Right !! "

So when he began

" Welcome to Exciting holidays , once again ... How are you guys doing ?"
" thank you . We are doing fine "
" Right Sir ... Right !! "
" !!! "
"Sir What do you do ? "
" am running a retail outlet at Adhajan "
" Right Sir .. Right !! "
" !!! "

ANNU , always cheerful , smiling her famous 'ee-ee-ee' smile , always had a soft and sweet conversation . She would just make the family feel pleasant and that is why i called her work as smile talk.

" Welcome to Exciting Holidays . Kaise ho aap log ? .. ee-ee-ee ... "
" thank you , all is fyn "
" So what do you Mr. XYZ ? .. ee-ee-ee ... "
" I am a Director "
" ee-ee-ee ... Director !! .. ee-ee-ee .. You Make Movies ?? .. Which one did you make ? ..
"ee-ee-ee "
" Movies !! "

Well , unfortunately she had to pay a heavy price for making such a ... ( better unsaid ) .
At the end , that family bursted in anger and while leaving claimed that Annu's IQ was zero , and adviced our manager not hire such people .
This made us burst into laughter ... even annu laughed !! ... and may be our manager Mr. BLUFFMASTER claimed it rightly " ANNU's brain developed weeks after she was born " ..

Well , well , well .. rumours had that the reason behind his such a comment was not job oriented . And that while Mr. BLUFFMASTER and Ms . PEPSODENT DHUSHOOM DHUSHOOM where carrying out their Mohabbat - e - jung on the upper floor outlet , with shutters pulled down , ANNU walked in , to interrupt , saying that there was phone call for Ms. PEPSODENT DHUSHOOM DHUSHOOM to attend ...

SHOOT !! She jus spoiled the mood and curtained show , in halfway !!

when SAHIL started his show .. it was just short of an earthquake ..

" BOOM BADAAAM .. DHUROOOM DHARAAAM !! "

Intensity of his voice , his vigour and the RAVANA like laughter , all together made the creator of earthquakes feel ashamed !!Our Managers should understand this . They should at least get seat-belts to the chair , his families rested on .

GAURAV , had his own charms , he gets excited to see families with children . He , then quickly associates himself with the kids and then resume calling the Man and the Wife

" Uncle Aunty "

One more thing that is quite interesting about him is that he seems to know almost every other family he attends . Even if not every member of the family , he surely knows the Man of the family

.. I jus wonder what kind of people have terms with every kind of people .. better say MAn ;-) ...

Shut Up !! DJ , you dirty mind Devil !!! .. lol !!

PS : TIME TO GET UNDERGROUND

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : JOB DRAMA

2009-05-22T00:09:00.000-07:00

While fun was at its peak , so was the job and its requirements . We were required to attend families , give them a presentation for membership . And .. when failed to make them members ... mental harassment ...

The first family that i attended was a disaster . We were given the training . Explained how the families are lured to the office ... Well , its simple !! callcenters called up these families and invited them saying

" Sir / Ma'am ... congratulations , you have won a free gift from our company for the coupon you filled at so and so location . Would you please spare an hour to collect the gift "

Well the real story about these was that they never ever filled any coupon . Unattentive , they dont remember that . Then the other interesting part was that our managers strictly gave intructions to the callcenters , to not to invite any comissioned officer , like cops , and anyone from press ... the question is " WHY ??? " .

And then when these families came in . They were given presentation by us , the consultants .
We were actually trained to fool these families . Block their minds , make them dream , and feel a loss , which wasn't actually , if they were not becoming a member . Well the work was that
when a family came in , one of the member was asked to fill up a form , seeking job description , car and credit card used and a few more things . These information had two uses . First , to set the criteria for paying the callcenters and the other to trigger a warm-up .

Well the consultant's part began with the warm-up ( informal talks ) then the warm-up of the product and introduction to the company and a few more procedures explaining the membership with a few intervals of manager's work namely pre-marketing , where in the gift is explained, and marketing , wherein pricing is done ,and doubt clarification .
In the process , we did many things immoral ... pinch them , hurt their sentiments ... and every possible things to get them into pocket . Shamefull !!

The day i gave my first presentation ... disaster!! ... immediately after i had finished i turned so weak , that i cunt even utter a word , could not smile , to the least ... In my office , i have always been known as silent and serious . But that day , i must have seemed like a rat !! ..

I had decided to quit , but then thanks to CHE GUEVARA , whom i idealize as angel to help humanity , his saying

" HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE "

meaing " until victory , always " .. kept ringing in my ears ... different story , all together .
Well what had actually happened was that when i begani started " welcome to Exciting Holidays" .. well i was expected to talk and have a kind of warm-up with the family . The couple was newly married . I asked them " where did you go for honeymoon . they replied " shimla" .. " okay " i replied .

I had this special tool , the " okay " .. I never bothered to listen or care for the answer ... Put up a question and then think of another . But when i failed to think of a new question , while answer was given out , to avoid a lull .. I used to

nodd my head and utter " Achcha ... Achchchchaaaa !! "
and used to swing my chair or nodd it too ... !!
and then a new question , and it is put forth .

So when the answer " Shimla " was given .. I , nervous , asked them

" so where will you guys go for the next honey moon ? "

... more than me , one should have had a look on their face ..

And then , all of a sudden i remebered my mother's saying " beta ! honesty is the best policy "
I surrendered and said " sorry ! this is my first experience , please dont mind me "
And may be because of this they spared me when i asked them

" how many kids do u have ?"
when i was supposed to keep in mind that they were newly married couple ..

The Family since , poorly uttered was not even regarded properly by our managers and PEPSODENT dhushoom dhushoom !! just drove them away treating badly . Her rude treatment turned me real nervous , cause they retaliated and i had to face their temper and abuse . Though , the family before leaving said me that it wasn't my fault .

Soon , we were too realise that this nature of PEPSODENT dhushoom dhushoom , which cause heavy havocs in the office with many a times familes , our customers , just bursting anf firing ..
Well , she can be forgiven this faults of her could not be completely blamed on her

might be , her background .. quite uncivilized one !!
may be due to certain mental problems

whatever !!

RIMPY !! .. lol !! .. The day she gave her first presentation

she began howling " Jo Bole So nihal Sat Sri Akal "

And then she began . Colleagues sitting close to her table just could not resist bursting into laughter .

She started with the procedure ,. Talks less and spends most of her time laughing. This was too avoid short warm up . When ever a little smile worthy joke would sprout she would laugh heavily .. look here and there , show to managers that she's bringing good amount of laughter , which she was required to do ...and .. and .. 5 minutes passed !! ..

And then , the systematic procedure .. she seldom mis-presented .

She would begin with something and realize that she missed something , when she realized this
she the great head ... interrupts and says " just a minute , i'll continue this in a minute i actually forgot to tell that ... " result - family puzzled !!

Once , when she started to show a set of snaps , which we usually said were of Mrs. Pathak's , a fair lie ... She , almost threw the snaps on them , and said in a heavy voice

" Ye Bathroom "
... !! Thanks to Almighty they dint pee in their pants !! ...

And for all these when we were pointed out about our mistakes

i kept silence and made direct eye contact

whereas Rimpy .. all " he he ha ha " .. just laughed , and laughed .. and laughed !!And when asked for the reason later on ,she told she was shying ... what a way of shying !! .. jai sardarni !!

PS : GOD SAVE ME FROM RIMPY !!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : FUNSKOOL

2009-05-20T00:24:00.000-07:00

Our managers tried hard to seem friendly . In their attempt to be so they introduced fun time , better say .. play time .

Things began with Dumb charade .

Everybody , excited , would drag a chair , from nowhere to the highlighted spot . All of a sudden , everyone is so disciplined . Chairs get alligned without a single instruction.. !!

.. khub saras !! khub khush !! .. no work .. khub saras !! khub khush !!

The game begins , our manager Mr. BELLYWALA ( the Sr. Manager ) .. began the game . Every counsellor was called , in turns , and had to act and get others to guess the name of the movie given to him .

First , our Chweet Baby GAURAV . Smart , he got up , pulled up his socks , ...nappies as well ..., and raged to the presumed dias . Got the movie ...

Tick Tick !! .. and , start !!

What !! .. what ! do we see . The first act we see .. Gaurav , indicates the number of words . Then!! .. Then his patent performance !! ... point out a palm horizontally , and then axe on it his other palm vertically ... an absolute indication of split i.e, the symbol of HALF ...

na re na na .. 50 - 50 ... !!
lol!!

Then rises JOHN .. walks straight to Mr. BELLYWALA , gets the movie .. on to dias ..
And what do we see ??!! ... JOHN ... busy, SHYING !!!!.... atleast for half a minute when the alloted time is just two . And then begins his patent . The first wild guess one is supposed to make, when JOHN is on dias busy shying , is that the movie given to him is A rated .

Well , for instance , once JOHN all of a sudden started rubbing his arms and chest ... we cunt make it out .. failed ! he tried to explain that somebody is lying down and somebody else is over the person lying and

.... and the act of JOHN , which followed , am sure aroused a few and is not mention worthy ...
soon , delighted ones burst out guessing .. ' JISM ' .. ' JISM ' ...

RIMPY , sets in , and gals go ga -ga . He ... oops !! i mean she .. oops !! ... he ... aah !! forget it !!

Enough !!, one is not supposed to , make fun of Almighty's mistake .. every time ..

HETAL , usually stayed away . This was decided considering a few issues
1) Weight sustainability of the building
2) and as a result , safety of the people in the building

Well ANNU , the wah bhai wah case , usually ended half of her time smiling ' EE - EE - EE ' . Seeing her smile a few querries stormed my mind .
' Is it beacause of ANNU , the alphabet ' E ' originated ? !! '
and after watching the TATA INDICOMM's add , where people get the habit of spelling 'Hello' every now and then
i asked myself what could have inculcated the habit of ' ee' ing in ANNU ??!!!

If Dumb Charade amused us , so did the one time game of PREFIXES .
We were all asked to write down our favourite movie names . Exchange the chits containing them . Open . And then spell the movie name on the chit ending up with us , but with a prefixed line " meri dhoti me " ...
well gals were not spared . And because of ANNU I had to read aloud

" Meri Dhoti k andar bhul bhulaiyya " .

Cause of me GAURAV had to read out

" Meri Dhoti k andar Rang De Basanti " .

RIMPY had to read out

" Meri Dhoti K andar Across the Universe "

and Annu had to read aloud

"Meri Dhoti k andar Kal ho na ho "

thanks to Naveen and John ...

SCRABBLE , CHOR POLICE which i disliked cause i always ended up being caught and many many more games made things lively .
Not just games , but also small feast sessions were refreshing . It is here were i started to like DABELI .

One more thing that was special about our office was our TOILET .
Well it was Co-ed !!!
.. lol!! ..
I guess it's enough to understand the consequences ...
and to my shock and surprise , gals enjoyed the situation more !!!!

PS : EXCUSE ME !! PLEASE !!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : ROMANTICA

2009-05-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

Girls , since the start of human race , have always been the neccessity of life and gossip of every guy . And because of this genuine grand old tradition , they were the main source of gossips and fun in my office too . Well lotsa stories did sprout .

JUNG - e - MOHABBAT

Well the story began with our PEPSODENT DHUSOOM DHUSOOM !! . While browsing through a book i discovered a book with many a pages reading her and Mr. BLUFFMASTER's name . The pic was clear . Since then every act of their's was seen in a specific , not so mention worthy way , mind you .. not just we boys, but also gals did that ... whatever . Now the Fun carried a newer look .
Still you guys must be thinking about the title of story . Well the main reason for this is that their way of expression of LOVE . Well the most part was done by throwing and hurling any thing grabable

... Well its kinda new concept .. most ones claim " JAAN DE DENGE " ... this couple had a different slogan - " JAAN LE LENGE "

Many a times Mr. BLUFFMASTER would stamp her foot , pull her ears ... And once , I survied the bloodshed .... free fund me mar kha jata ..phew!!

The couple , many a times slipped to a terrace floor abandoned shop , pull down the shutters , half , and ... and , am sure carried out their " MOHABBAT - e - JUNG " .

JOHN , AT NIGHT , OVER THE PHONE

Our couple JOHN and RIMPY simply became everyone's favourite play toy . When bored the couple with be caught , teased and then .. and then ... JOHN would smile , RIMPY would laugh !! ... at the pranks made on them!!! ...

But their episode took a new shift , after office hours . Thanks to HETAL , we learnt it . JOHN was not so open minded . Every openness of RIMPY , he would admire in public , support her .

But after office hour the so called generous face turned pale and red with possesiveness and FRUSTRATION !!

Well the hidden part had initially a small reason . RIMPY and GAURAV , had grown close . Well the reason -

Sardar Sardar Chaddi Yar !!! ...

Obvious , as a consequence they enjoyed playing and gossiping . JOHN , could not witstand it , quarrelled with RIMPY , at night , over the phone ...

And to add fuel to the fire , our generous managers , always ready for the job . Mostly , done by our Mr. BLUFFMASTER . Well the man was quite loud . Such was the loudness of his voice that it send tremors round the building . Anybody crossing the office , if ever had heard ZUZZ and BUZZ , i wouldn't be surprised !!

Wonder how would have JOHN reacted , at night , over the phone when he noticed RIMPY helping me with my TIE . !!

ANNU KI HO GAYI WAH BHAI WAH

NAVEEN always wanted somebody to carry him from his bus stop to the office . If the aftermath show was reserved for me . Who was it for the beforemath . Well , i never bothered to enquire till the date Mr. BLUFFMASTER started bullying him and annu. Our Lover boy called her up , saying that he will have to miss his lunch for his job , time factor. So he asked annu to bring him some eatables . Well , story was not just this . He even asked her to pick him up . And just Before they reached the office , they would part to pretend .

WITTY NAVEEN managed to hide things . But our ANNU .. lol !! .. but our ANNU !! ..
The Day she spoke about her caring bestesttt friend NAVEEN ... Our Manager , Mr. BLUFFMASTER turned them the Gossip Stock !!!

Thus began the Story and the TV serial " ANNU KI HO GAYI WAH BHAI WAH "

Caring NAVEEN , never stopped to care for ANNU . Not even while we enjoyed playing . They even dislike people interfering in their private gossips .

Closeness grew so much that they would embrace each other

.... WAH BHAI WAH !!! .....

Together , they would spend a lot of time , donno where?!!!

.... WAH BHAI WAH !!! ....

Gossip, over the phone, till late nights, donno what do they talk!

....WAH BHAI WAH !!! .....

These three tales of ROMANTICA makes one think and believe that LOVE is in the AIR . You breathe and you are bound to fall in LOVE.

PS : EXCUSE ME ! PLEASE !!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : COLLEAGUE CLUSTER

2009-05-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

Keeping aside the Trio , the rest mention worthy include my collegues . Most are wonders , for sure . God Must have made every one of us with high precision and care ... and the result !! ..

He made first of all ...

ANNU - always smiling ... it would have been great had her parents named her ANSUYA ALWAYS SMILING KANANI or say ANSUYA ' HE HE HE ' KANANI ... well i'll call our beloved ANNU - ' Close Up Chamatkar' ...

Then popped , HETAL - The Heavy Metal .. well it's better i dont prank furthur , cause -' am not yet married and don wanna die unmarried '

God , Almighty , then tired , made a few mistakes ... GAURAV and PARMINDER ( RIMPY) ... The two mistakes !!! ... unmindfully he injected certain feminine elements in GAURAV and certain masculine charachters in RIMPY ... How unfortunate !!! ...

JOHN , his characters are quite mind baffling . He is reserved , calm and composed , hides emotions , the best part ' humare John ji ruth jate hain !!! and somebody has to appease him ' with all this , John is ... is not a gal !! .. can u believe it !!

First time did i realise that this could be a guys charachter too !

The shy and timid NAVEEN ... So Shy that his shyness spell talks round the corner .It had a procedure and an order of incidence namely 'The Four Steps'. When poked he would

Shrink himself , into his seat or in any possible way.
Raise his one arm over his head ....
With the other arm would unlock his mobile. Then would go through his log history , check messages ...
and would finally ... smile ... heheeeeeee... !! ..

The process repeats .. try teasing him !!

All of a sudden , came out the GYMMER Mr. SAHIL BAROT ... well better called Mr. Parrot . SAHIL , was half attended by GOD Almighty . That is why his upper half looks like Arnold Schwarznegger and the lower half looks like Jim Carrey ,.... quite rickety !!!

Time passed by enjoying and supporting each other . John and Rimpy , the already couple became everybody's favourite .

They were my favourites too ... My best wishes to the couple :)...

Gaurav found time entertaining and pleasing people around . Well the Guy began with a HISTORY - TAPASVI . So much they grew close that she at the first day of meeting gave him a soft slap . hard enough to make everyone giggle . Furious, Gaurav stared at her . She ,smiling , said sorry ... and he !! , he had to smile back , hiding pain and anguish !!!

PS : EXCUSE ME !! PlEASE ... :)

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : BOSS MANIAC

2009-05-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

My life's first 150 hours at office has been amazing. A team of 12 god gifted personalities . The day i stepped in for the interview , i walked straight to a guy at the reception ,with my resume on my left hand , as i had learnt in college. The guy , looking , at me said " wait a sec "

... walked inside , pulled a chair to a table , arranged two more chairs , sat on the one facing the two

and asserted in a loud voice " Mr. DEBOJIT SAHA " .... damn !! none , till date , did i find, who could spell my name correctly ....

i walked in .. to be interviewed by the manager ... puzzled .. at first sight he seemed a receptionist then at the next moment seemed to be the one in- charge for recruitment and finally turned out to be the head of the office .. who claimed to earn 70k per month .. !!!

He had once asked my colleague , while playing Truth And Dare " what did you think about me when you first saw me ? " .. Imediately two things popped in my mind ... an answer , and then a question ... The answer part , i already made it clear , and the querry part " does he himself finds himself to be a receptionist , if not , y then did he ask it ? " ...

with in a day , began the legacy "THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 " .

But i must say , this guy , the Sr. manager, was my favourite , cause he was the perfect blend of witt and experience .

First three days at office was that of training . It wasn't during this time , i learnt that lying and misleading was the way to success and i regret for not being good at learning during the training hours .

On the first day at office i met the great azim-o -shaan shahenshah Jr. manager - Mr. bluffmaster ... the master bluffer ... Well the man had lotsa stories to narrate , they never ended , as long as i was in office , and m very much sure , will not end for decades to come ...

... story of a teenage narrated for the rest of the life...

They mostly were about his prestigious family , dynasty and an assumed great college life ... blah blahs !! .... listening to them all ... i always wondered ... had he been in the medieval periods , the office gaurd , on his arrival would have surely yelled out ...

.... kumar - e - IAS ,
bhatija - e - vidhayak ,
brother - e - contractor ,
phalana - e - dhamaka ,
mananiya
jr . manager - e - enticing holidays
padhar rahe hain ...

And as he would pass by , beautifull royal " dasiyan " would shower flower on him ... and he !! ... he would walk away in a bindas tapori style ... Jai ho !!!

And then , finally , i met the unusual phenomena , Pepsodent dhushoom dhushoom !! ... thats the name i chose for her ... lol!! ... the final manager ... i still remember a customer's retaliation ... " it's because of this nature is the pearl ring sticking to her finger ... Astrologer's advice!! ... And if noticed , one would easily realise that educated people resort to such an option only when every other options fail .. even if this was not with every person , it certainly was the case with her , as per the coustomer ... and i was convinced !!

And then the inter-realtions became even more clear when out of curiosity i brushed through a book on CHATTISGARH TOURISM ... many a pages revealed a big secret which at the first instant were not visible ... !! Bluffmaster and pepsodent dhushoom dhushoom surely tried to hide it ....
but one thing am not clear of is ' why then did Mr. Bluffmaster and Mr. Parrot (jr colleague) often enjoyed massaging each other's arms , shoulder and neck ?'.. never did a day pass by , with out the doubtfull incident .... !!!

Good or bad every one in the management group was kinda complimentary to each other i.e, each was perfectly what was required by the duo to make up a perfect trio

PS : MANY A THINGS WORTH SARCASTIC REMARKS DO REMAIN ..
AND SHALL ALWAYS REMAIN ,AS A MARK OF RESPECT TO THE TRIO

INCREDIBLE ORKUTERS

2009-03-27T04:19:00.000-07:00

Months have passed by . Lots of things have happened around , but nothing good has ever strolled , my way . Am tired . Everything and everywhere , i see , seems like unattended . So much , that i feel like exhausted ... even before i start caring ... amid all these , my head , which many complain as " ulti khopdi " finds out irony and then begins my sarcasm ...

This time .. it's ORKUT profile names ...

well my friends , and even most of you , have very amazing profile names

" SAYAK™ Need some grass? " ... well here is the first sample . What would one think when they go through this profile name ? . I think this guy needs lotsa scraps even if all of them were , to read be " NO " ...

" vasanth mission is back " ... and this guy !! ....beyond comprehension . Now why wouldn't one assume that his surname is " mission " , say " mr. mission "... But the best part about his profile is his email id -" mithunvasanth@... " now i know as to why doesnt that mithun call it off ... well it was for this thing to happen and keep happening ..

This guy is mindblowing ... well , all that i rem about him are his hunched butts and favourite colour ' BLACK ' ... with all his outfits , donno about the inner ones , black in colour ... i.e, black shirt , black pant , black socks , black shoes , black goggs , dark complexion and the hunced butt ... Awhh!! awesome picturesque !! .. cant afford to forget it ...

And then a jerk has his profile name " Cyanide and Happiness " ... well he was in syracose ..now moved to NY .. yet i dont hear the good newz ... DAMN !! WHEN IS HE GONNA TAKE IT !! " .. seems like he jus is craving attention , wants everybody to react and turn to a state of being shocked .. but i guess , nobody must have bothered to perturb him ... pooh !! boy !!

" Rishabh. An Indian Soul.. "... well our beloved friend " SHRI DESHBANDHU RESERVATION-BHAKT RISHAB BANSAL " is one and only one of his kind , also the first of his kind . Never before has such phenomena occured and unfortunately it will never ever repeat , as i believe ... the guys patriotism is praiseworthy , at the same time is his acute interests in Reservation Politics ... i still rem he had his profile name something like " i wish i was scheduled " ... !!

Finally on a closing note , for the guy with profile name " Running Away... To be better..! " , i got only one thing to say " Run Forest Run " .. !!

bengali me kehte hain " ami tomake bhalo bashi "

2009-01-19T10:28:00.000-08:00

Romance has kept luring every being since time immemorial .... and since we humans have spiced it enough ... it has also become one of the favourites of satirists ... when ever one says " i love you " ... bomb of reactions , goes off and generates epics .

well it is often said that love is blind .. eternal ... blah blah !! ... Now when i hear certain love stories , i get to laugh rather than cherish .

A friend of mine has his girlfriend quite a few years elder than him . surely years ago , had they been neighbours , he would have gone to his mamma and cried out

" mamma , i also want to go to school .. look she(the girlfriend) is going "

" beta !! she is elder than u ... nxt year i'll send you 4 nursery ... now stop cryin "

or even worse she could have been one of those who first witnessed him walk on foot , for the first time ... and called out to everyone in joy ...

" aunty ! uncle ! come and see this ... he's able to walk"

with all these ,wonder how would the couple quarrel

wife - " dont you dare teach me ... dont forget you couldn't even walk or talk , i helped you ..."

hubby - " forget about that ... bcos of your cheap hair dye ... people get to learn that i m younger than you .. how many times should i ask u to use L'oreal ... damn!! "

not just that .. it could well be possible that they , years later could face a situation where in the husband is helpin his wife with a walkin stick or the couple travelling with only the wife enjoying the senior citizen's discount .

I always think that the line " i love you" is a compliment just like any other ..

say " you look beautiful" .

If it was so, then lemme tell you , once when i approached a gal for fun i found her facial expression such as if i had opened fire on her beloved ones and she's eager to avenge the homicide . I mean , smiles on her face dried away all of a sudden as if she was abused or hurt excessively.... woa !! surely the line " i love you " is not just a compliment ... i soon had to get honest and say " hey listen i was just surveying , for my blogs " ..

say what , better not apprehend it .

TERRORISM : RISE OF SIN

2008-12-10T10:22:00.000-08:00

Pakistan seems to be seeing the worst possible times . More and more people are indulging into terroristic activities . The indulgence has become so high that it's similar to the craze for a MBA degree in India , among youth . And , in the society , a terrorist seems to be respected as a civil service officer . Such has turned the case that it seems every ambitious child dreams of becoming one . And the result of such desires -

guys eating at a resturaunt , not satisfied with the dishes served , rush to the owner ... boom!! bombed!! ... unable to bear the death of hero in the movie ... boom!! bombed !! ... angry for being abused by the teacher .. boom !! bombed !! ...

So , the karachi sensex would show a reading , for the bomb manufacturing company ' LB - lashkar Bombs ' ,

day1 LB - 259 , day 2 LB- 332 , day 3 LB- 447 ......

Every pakistani would be eager to buy shares of these bomb manufacturers !!

It would be of no surprise if a caught terrorist comes out with an story like

"A nation wide examination CATIIT ( common admission test for International Institute of Terrorism) is held anually . Nearly half of youth in Pakistan appear for the examination . And after a few months Central counselling is organized following the result declaration. Courses offered are

course 1 - Bachelor in terrorism across India ( B.TAI)

course 2 - Bachelor in terrorism across West ( B.TAW)

Boys earlier used to choose B.TAW because the companies recruiting were MNCs . Working with such firms helped excelling faster . Also the pay given by these companies are very high . Dream companies like 'Al-QAEDA international LTD ' offerred international postings across UK and US ... in short cosmopolitan life , high salary , and huge respect .

But now the situation has changed after the 'collapse of terror-nomy' .. its not at all worthy , infact quite risky .. no job security , life risk . Also , if caught then ...HELL !!

So , most of all those who are applying have resorted to B.TAI . The companies recruiting dont pay much , but then there is job security ,... life risk ?? - not at all !! cause if caught then shall be enjoying free meals , lodging , medication and media attention as long as in detention and then if co-employees organize a hostage situation then will be able to return back to see their beloved ones , else will be pardoned by the Govt. of India , thanks to the pressure of Opposition and NGOs . "

Wondering about these bombs , one day it could surface that people apply for BL - bombing license , in Pakistan . First a Learner's License and then after a month the BL ...

And when police happens to catch a person bombing ... he would perturb to ask

" license please!! "

26/11 : TURMOIL

2008-12-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

Rat-tat-tat goes guns in public , innocent lives lost , a city of more than 15 million succumbs with shock and anxiety , politcians resume their immoral game beginin with a lusture ridden speech by our honourable PM.

Journalist begin their hit out and earn business . So an aspiring journalist , trying to shine his boots , ends up interviewing

Q : Mr . Lalu Yadav what do you have to say about our Heritage Taj Hotel

A : I Taj hotelwa inside only some taims go ... bhery prablem (very problem)... I , toh ladka taim(time) se adjust to "lota and magga " ... inside Taj toh tissue paper there ... now , Heritage Building hain , so this toh there will be ... But i feel bhery sorry ... and i bhant(want) to tell mumbaivasi my sorry ... I see , if i can , i bill(will) start a train fram PATNA to Taj to send my bihari bhai log to fight terrorism .... humre bihar ka log desh k liye jaan tak de dega !!

Q : Didi Mayawati , would you like to convey your condolenses .

A : I , the Dalit ki beti , am bhery sorry about all this jo hua hain . I , the dalit ki beti , think that the ruling party ne kiya hain for election stunt . I , the dalit ki beti , am bhery sorry ki aaj desh me all this happening ... that is bhy(why) vote me and make me the agla PM ... oops !! i forgot to use " i , the dalit ki beti " in the last line ... O! Dr . B .R Ambedkar please maf karo , to me .... I , the dalit ki beti , pramise to fir se erect our heritage building ... i , the dalit ki beti , will then name the building ' ambedkar heritage' ...

Q : Mr . VilasRao Deshmukh , people out their need an answer . what do you have , to say ??

A : I have a deep feeling of sorrow for all those who have had their worst time because of this situation . I am working hard to unite the nation on such an adverse situation . And the idea that i have resorted to is making a movie titles " VILASRAO KI AAG " ... and for this i have chosen Ritesh , my son , to be the lead actor ... to compromise the budget ... and for the directorial part .. i have decided to hand it over to Ramu , dint you guys watch " RAMU KI AAG " ... And ya jus to keep the democratic spirit alive .. i have opened a public poll ..

to vote for NISHA KOTHARI - send NK to 5655

to vote for URMILA MATONDKAR -send UM to 5655

and to vote for MALLIKA SHERAWAT - send MS to 5655...

Q : Mr . Manmohan Singh , would you like to address the nation ??

A : My dear countrymen this flagitious act of terrorism is totally inhumane and i condemn it , so dont have to fear any more . JAI HIND!! ...

( what!! condemn and no more fearing ??!! )

Q : But Mr . PM what have you done other than condeming ??

A : I have tried calling Mr. Zardari . Well he was busy but his secratary ,who attended the call , told me that he was busy shaking hands with Ms . Pallin !! .. I will try calling him again in the evening . Also i am thinking to invite him to India , to discuss the matter . GHAJINI will be releasing soon, may be we can have some relaxed time watching the movie . After all it is warmth and affection that helps in spreading love and friendship . . . okay! enough for now , gotta get to work , lunch time , Rahul baba and Sonia ma'am might be hungry !!

PS : GOD BLESS MY COUNTRY

TALLI TIME

2008-12-05T05:08:00.000-08:00

Filling a fourth of a glass ... then pouring soda .... chips and other sidies ready ... lit a cigarette ... then the bissfull sip ... sip after sip ... parallely runs music " hui mehek bahut hi sharaab ki ... thodi ,thodi piya karo " ...

This is the way thausands and thausands of college goers light their weekend lamp . And this habit is seldom appreciated , infact it actually is criticised and looked down upon . But then there are things about this , that is worth a watch ...

Imagine , if you were to fix a hidden camera in a bachelor's residence . So when the anxiety knock's the door , every body would start up

" dude !! long time since we had our thirst quenched "

"ya ! you are right !! .... i had a tough time in coll ...need to unwind !! "

" me too ..."

Eventually the decided hour closes in . After an evening stroll , guys rush for an evening shower. when LMN happened to ask PQR to share his towel

"buddy can i borrow your towel "

" ya buddy . . . how can i turn you down ... close friends , right ??!! "

Now , all is ready ... sip after sip goes in , few gulp it ... and then the talks begin

"Sssscoundrrrrrelllllllll !!!!! .... how dareee ! you use my towel ... what close friends ?? ... does that mean that i have to smell your crap in my towel .... i want it washed ... !!! "

" who the hellllll ..... saley!! "

Few , who for whole the week pretended to be a caring guy for a gal , call her up

" yar julie . . . you are so sweet .... dont get me wrong .... i love you ... dont think that i am drunk .. i love you "

" so you boozed "

... ( disconnect) ... redial ... ( number busy ) ....

And ,few guys fail to differentiate between a guy and a gal . Guy , such , would catch hold of a mate and then start pouring out all their feelings

" yar !! those guys trouble me a lot ... i feel so un - appreciated "

" buddy !! come on!! you are a man ... walk with you chest wide spread "

Few with some very peculiar cries

" donno why !! but i feel nobody likes me ... do you like me ?? temme ?? "

" well ... a a a ... mm mm mm "

" dont prentend ... see !! even you dont !! "

" !! "

Slowly the drink start taking tolls ... one after the other , guys drop down .

In the morning guys get up to see things all so hapazard . It's all like guys lying over the other , war veterans !! .. slowly the night's drama unfolds pretended dramas revealed . So many acts get heads go down with shame .... And then , the remorse ... lets booze again !!

patiala peg lagake .. teri gali vich ake , sab sudh budh hosh gavake , dewana, main pagal ,

main talli ... main talli .. main talli ho gaya "

CHEMICAL LOCHA

2008-11-30T19:20:00.000-08:00

When asked to define 'love' people turn Tagore or Keats . Some would go on to answer it's something from the heart. Few would start ' well its like if you are getting attached with somebody's gestures , like smiles , and many more then it's 'love' else 'factuation' or 'lust'.

Now there are a few interesting things about all these 'love' club members . first , every one will know these terms 'love' 'lust' and 'factuation' , even if their english is rusty. And the second , everybody will have their own definition for all these .

And me ?? .. i feel it's all chemical locha !! . Had it not been for the harmones , none would have had this feeling of 'love' ... Why then does a bull not fall in love with a cow? (it never tries to impress!!) .... And the basis of differentiation , it's one's conscience , nothing else .

The song " mera dil bhi itna pagal hain .. ye pyar toh tumse karta hain " should have been like " mere harmones bhi itne asarda hain ... ye pyar toh tumse karvate hain "

Funny but admirable , my friends have had commitments worth mention .

Parlok .... such a chweet boy , cho chy !! ... never even dared to call his girlfriend 'darling' or atleast 'dear' . Confused , ended up calling her 'moti' though she was so lean . imagine their talks

" Moti !! make it fast !! we are getting late for the movie "

" ya parlok , a few minutes more "

Bandan , i rem , had a sweet love story . He met this girl at a symposium ,got to talk to her again and again , fell to her politeness . And everyday before we boarded the bus he would buy a cadbury to share with her in college . what a chemical locha !! . But the thing about him that really left me speechless was that one day when we were relaxing on our house roof ,bandan told me that he couldnot afford to continue it and needed to be focused on his career . I felt he was another loser , but he proved me wrong .

Kaurav and Ranbaxy had a great time too . Ranbaxy would address kaurav saying " aji , oji , haan ji ". I initially misunderstood it , thought that this was her way of addressing people . Dint want to appreciate it , could not criticise it . I feared that if we ever happen to hang out for a movie , and incase she were to call me aloud

" ji late ho rahe hain , movie chalu hone pe hain "

... gash!! i avoided !! ... but then , when the vey simila moment arrived , though i lost a beat , she called out

" oye ! kahan tha , movie chalu hone pe hain "

oye!!! ...

" phew ! public me watt toh nahi lagi... bach gaya !! "

I realised , it was her way of refering to kaurav . Though funny , i still admire it .

Pishab and Munnimita !! ... Pishab though being fair and rational had peculiar tough times . Well he had to spend much of his time driving away miscreants. " Dude ! you really need a veerappan moustache " .

Ashant and Kablasha !! .. the JHAs !! ... my goodness!! ... Am sure Ashant wants a girl as righteous girl as good as SITA or SAVITRI ... Somebody tell him that he needs to be as good as RAM for that !! .

Chemical locha !! surely kept so many things happening in my circle , very small above narrated examples testify to it. Unfotunately, many were not lucky to have sweet times like all those mentioned above had .

And , the song "mera dil bhi " better be as it is !! ...

PS : NAMES CHANGED FOR THE SAFETY OF THE WRITER :)

Bed Time " Good Night !! "

2008-11-23T18:34:00.000-08:00

Docs , psychologists and other experts always comment on a person's nature basing upon opinions , thoughts , habits and lots more . How many of these bother to ask about their bed time , sleeping , habits ?? ... sleep time habits are really watch worthy .

Bandan , a close friend , was quite known for his sober and gentle nature . Not even a heated discussion , as far as i remember , he has ever landed into . So pleasing , isn't it ?? . But then , while at deep sleep few realities came out . The boy talked every night , some times giggles , some times outburst of frustration , anguish , pain and even expression of love ... Many a times it has so happened that all those who shared the room with him sat up , amazed ... more than enjoying , i have worried for him , i must say , else will be misunderstood ...

Few person sleep stiff , all the night . Parlok , chushkar and Aada are the best examples to it . If one day they had their hands layed over their eyes then the other day they will have it burried ...

sorry , i revealled it !!..

Guys like Pishab are precious and rare to find . They expand in sleep .. ya , he really did ! ... well at times we had to share a bed for four among seven . The bed had two matresses , joined . At night everybody slept occupying equal spaces , but in the morning ,the distribution would be like pishab and kaurav on one matress and four on the other , with the seventh guy sharing both the matresses . And its not kaurav's fault .

Kaurav and Farthik ... hah!! ... They, to some , would look like a homicide case whereas ,to others , a wonder as to who is lying on whom ,... is it the bed over the boy ?? is it the pillow from the bedsheet , into the legs ?? ....

My award , it's for Marun , the big boy , lying on his cot looks very much like brave warrior martyred ... achilles !! ...

The dropped out list includes Psycho Singh , Ajhib Jhosh and Bhujwal. Psycho's sleep cycle is actually not at all human's , infact it resembles those of polar bear's ... yes , he has a hibernation cycle ... sleeps for a few days and then stays awake for a few ... And Ajhib ! he has turned nocturnal to find a date , online !! . Bhujwal , is a pefect classroom napper . well it should not be abused as nap ... a perfect sound sleep short of snore !! ... and he ! while asleep on the bench looks like .... Dr. B.R.AMBEDKAR fast asleep .....

Sleep gesture speaks a lot . Humour aside , it talks about state of mind, insecurity , uncertainity,anxiety, lots more ... At the end its upto the Doctors to show interest !!

PS : NAME CHANGED FOR PERSONAL PRIVACY :)

Dedicated girlfriend ; Rebellious wife

2008-11-18T23:14:00.000-08:00

What might have been going on in Almighty's head when he thought of creating girls ?!! ... And with the advent of metropolitan culture things have turned quite notice worthy .

A girl seems to be very much careful and interested in her boyfriend's habits. Every where they go , her eyes are set on her boyfriend's . When he sweats , she would held her handkerchief out .. " honey !! wipe your face ... here , use this " .... At a restaurant if he happens to soil his dress then again its her , to the rescue .... " cho chweet !! .. isn't it ?? " ... So much attentive and caring she turn that she , now , starts to change herself . If its pink that he loves then so be it . If it is karvachoth , she had never practised or seen anyone practising , then so be it . If it means to turn vegetarian then so be it . Interestingly , this act of her , the self modification , is appreciated by everybody . And all seems so right full ...

when a few girls begin their girlie talk ... " hi dear !! hows your ...?? you understand right ?? "
" he's doing just fine " " am so worried "
And those envious .." hey how's your herbivore ?? " "herbivore ??!! " " ya !! herbivore .. if a veggie can turn another veggie then he surely deserves to be called herbivore "

Interestingly , things after marriage are not so beautiful . Now , a girl ,who turns lady , suddenly turns otherwise . To her , now , self modification seems to be an insult to her way of life . She rebels ... " why did you marry me when you knew ... blah ! blah ! blah! " .. and sometimes things so even worse .The appreciative nature turns to a ridiculous one ..

" You are lucky to have me . All those X , Y and Z tried hard one me ... you should be gratefull " ... " Had i been married to X , or Y , or Z he would have kept me happy evry moment " ....

Guys are to be blamed . Why did you have to try on a girl ,valueing certain virtues, when you new these were just superficial ?? And girls !! Why did you get so desparate to have a relation that you had to end up in strains at later times ?? ... Well things are reserved for the right age .... after it is rightly said "primitve ripening seldom helps" ...

PS: THIS IS NOT THE CASE WITH ALL , HOPE FOR THE BEST FOR ALL THOSE WHOSE RELATION IS HAVING HARD TIMES. NO ONE IN PARTICULAR IS TARGETTED .

JOBMETER

2008-11-15T07:22:00.000-08:00

Why does a jobmeter have to creep in every time you decide on your profession?? . Isn't it the time to renew the scale ??Everytime you decide on your future ... an intervention ... son ! you cannot do this , what respect does that command ?? ...

wonder why few things are considered unethical !! or say , few things are credited unnecessarily !!

Jobs like that of a TEACHER , DOCTOR , ENGINEER or other services command heavy respect whereas a business is not so appreciated .why ?? ...

what does a teacher do ?? ... goes to an institute , struggles for the whole day reciting the same old line over and over again , daily ...

" Gooodd morrrningg studentsssss .......!! "

" PAY YOUR ATENTIONN ..!! " ......" SILENCE !!! "

Almost every teacher has to check for attendance in one or the other class . Prior to that few even are made to conduct an assembly programme , in a desciplined manner .... but what is it thats going on in the hall ? .. well while praying , one is busy winkin, the other giggling ; one is so lost that he or she stands facing a side of his choice , the other is busy burying his finger deep inside the nose .... And a teacher has to check all these. And not jus these .... whole day's mischiefs and quarrels between student , their regularity .... keepin a check on all these . goodness!! .... And if all this dint make you feel sick .. then jus imagine a more worse part ... a teacher is busy teaching when few restless guys make it to the dias and in melacholy

" teacher teacher can i go to toilet .. urgent teacher !! " ... and all of them held out their fist with the small finger pointing towards the sky ....

wonder who made this hand sign !! ...

Forget teachers , what about those in medical field ?? ... Pathologists ?!! people walk to them and say .. " here ....my pee ... enough? or you need more ?? " .... Dentist ?!!.. patients end up near them openmouthed , with all crap inside ... And their services , blah!! . The fee they charge tells you that they never mean to serve . Psychologists encounter persons who could turn them insane .Physiologists!! .. from dysentry to dengue ; from cold to cholera .. what not ?? ..wonder, how often does he get into a gathering of healthy persons ?!! ..

Engineers . The best example of a degree's miracle ... An engineering job , basically , is a labourer's job . In a factory , with a uniform , struggling with heavy tools ... isn't that a labourer's job ?? ... And what respect does a labourer have ?? ...Hardly does anybody offer them a seat , on a visit . Few offer a glass of water and the rest , rude ... And incase of an engineer , same job , an additional degree ... whoa !! the treatment as good as at in-laws ....

Few with business have made it big in life . Few , have made it big with things , unapproved by orthodox society.... Imagine Shahrukh with a long Beard , or Amitabh in a Saffron outfit ... could they have made it big in tinsel world , with such an outfit or idealogy ??

When every profession has its own odds and evens . It never is fair to declare one as superior to the other . And it's never fair to sport a JOBMETER

Dont say "it's LOVE"

2008-11-14T05:14:00.000-08:00

Love . What is love ? ... O!! people have great answers to this question . And few , they might sound like the eleventh commandment .... Holy !! ..

Well , you actually never care for it , if life is meadows for you ....

It's first year , fresh and lively at college. Guys and gals both are quiet mischievious. Everytime a gal passes by few mouths turn watery . When at hostel after the day's strain guys gather in hostel room and start what i call " our queen contest " on a daily basis .

" dude the girl at the counter was awesome ! "...

" well i found the one at the lab in red dress mindblowing " ...

"ooh!! wish i could date the one in yellow and blue "

And these girls !! ... not to be forgotten... don't fall behind in any aspect . Most do the same , gather in a hostel room , recollect every beast and dude they came across and start their "kewl dude debate "

" My Gash ! he was so tall and macho , i couldn't stop staring ( with mouths wide open ) "

" and i wish i could be with the guy in offwhite shirt , on a beach with he holding me firmly"

" oh ! my ! ... how romantic!!"

Time passes , by now a few manage to have their dreammate . Well the drama part behind this ... rediculous ... while, one begins hittin on a gal ,his friend broke up with , the other is seriously aiming at his friend's girlfriend's colleague... Same is vice versa .

Well few seem to maintain lists .. if it is not this gal/guy, then will try for the next one... and eventually try out on many , before they find one . Few cry over the phone , to impress , and many a few quit what is said to be a dirty habbit by a gal.

All set ... it's time for the show . Guys , fixed up , group together and decide to move to a rent house . It helps . Nobody will mind if a girl comes and stays all the night .So is the case with gals .Those into relationship have this understanding ... "okay babes !! u all have to adjust in a room ... understand buddy , he'll be here for the night " ....

few desperates breakup with their partner , and with in months ,or even worse weeks , patch up with their ex- partner's friend .... gash! what a friend !! ...

'So much is this that if there were any chemical which would spread to a person's

partner and turn their faces blue forever then surely many faces would turn blue

within half a decade

What respect did you give your partner , when you carried out your romance in a room with your friends in the other ? What explaination do you intend to give when you get immoral in public ?? And what reason will you be giving for your ways of trying out for a girlfriend?

Dont say "it's LOVE "

PS : THIS HIT OUT IS NOT AT ANYBODY IN PARTICULAR , AND IS ALSO BELIEVED TO BE HAPPENING WITH ONLY A FEW . AND WITH ALL THOSE WHO HAD A SIMILAR LIFE , UNITENTIONALLY , I SAY "GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD ! "

STYLE ' ACHE

2008-11-13T08:35:00.000-08:00

Watch a fashion show ...these dresses!! ... one would seem to be pile of bricks covering the essentials ... somebody tell these designers that backless lady's outfit is equally sensual... and the other would look like worn leaves lying on the model to cover her up !! .. these designers!!

why are these dresses designed ?

may be somebody may answer saying that these help to run magazines , shows and lots more ,in short, helps generate huge money . But at the end of the day when a commoner cannot get into these and go out in public , then they turn out to be useless .

Imagine if you were to meet a girl , for a date . You book a table at an exotic restaurant , get a few candles arranged for the special event . And then u see her hand approaching the door , to walk in . Slowly , you raise from your seat .The door opens , she walks in .But what do u see ...

your girlfriend has got a hair cut , so peculiar , that a lash falls on her right eye , her lipstick thick and dark as metallic purple , a gown sort of wear which literally helps the sweeper with his job , a belt that seems to be a rope wrapped around her waist , and a python sort of dupatta...

The dress catches everyone's eye and leave them in giggles .Do you think you both are gonna seek everyone's attention to tell them that it was designed by, say,

Manish malhotra !!
How much ever impractical these designer's might have been , one thing they have managed to do is to spoil our traditional culture . People shamelessly sport an undergarment and boast of it . Seems like everybody has lost it . Wonder things would turn so rediculous that fruits and vegetables might get into our wears someday . And when Mrs . Xyz happens to meet Mrs. Lmn in a party she would begin

" Helllo Mrs.Xyz ! what a nice necklace, the red coloured thing must be pomegrante ... really beautifull !! .. but whats that yellow thing ??" ...reply - " how could you not recognize it , Mrs. Xyz .... its Sweet Corn pea!! ... "

KANGANA : THE BEWDI DIVA

2008-11-12T04:40:00.000-08:00

Cigarrette in her mouth , a deep breathe in, and then ,the big exhale ... unattentive , least cared , is busy on the phone .... and when it's the time ... off she throws her cigarrette and her phone ... sets her foot on the ramp , one after the other they proceed and set the ramp ablaze ...
And when at the audience's end she stretches her arms , looks towards the sky ... Gash !! .. even the angels up there must have envied and shied !! ...
By now , it must have been clear that the diva i am talking about is Kangana Ranawat . Madhur Bhandarkar offered her a side role , very firm one , and she did a justice to her role .... "Riped mangoes taste better" .. yes! she has aged as a 'FRUSTRATED' actress and this is why she could do justice to her role in 'FASHION' .
Her role in 'GANGSTER' was not much different . For no genuine reasons she messed her life.... I ask " why the hell was she bewildered so much ?? was it because shiney's busy schedules hindered the idea of a try out at 'jodi kamal ki' ??
Her performance in 'A life in a METRO'... Gash!! ... i always wonder , was that the only role offered to her?? or , was it that she was so delighted to find such a charachtered role that she actually asked for it ??
Well i am certain that she must have fasted for days and actually begged for the charachter in 'WO LAMHE' . Gotta find out if she threw a party and offered offerings in a temple when her role was finalized?
Whatever her roles might have been , one thing is certain that her bewildering charm and beauty is her only armour which will help her withstand all odds in career ...After all bollywood has lots to offer to every charismatic diva.... even a bewdi diva ...

Rules Are Must

2008-11-11T20:43:00.000-08:00

Four years in a college with suffocating rules and regualtions ?! ... Gash!! i still wonder how did time pass by . Ah ! these rules ! .. cannot talk to a girl , cannot wear imfromal dresses , cannot carry mobile ,cannot do this , cannot do that ... what not ?!!
Girls , ooh!! , have always been the foremost topic of gossips among guys . So might guys have been among girls . So much was the eager to patch up , that often rumours about affairs and cross affairs started bloomin , simultaneously did those of break-ups . Stories about couples caught smooching in public , or even more , started comming to light. These were followed by sensual romantic stories . I ,even today, believe that if the best of those stories were penned and published then they would turn out to be the best sellers . But the most important thing about all these was that our college was strict enough to keep these things in check . All those stories running inside our college when discovered were dealt with severity , and i never felt it's need.
Today when i am out of my college , i feel that they were right . Whenever i come across students of other colleges , i realize it better . The other day when i was with an old friend of mine . I learnt that things turned so immoral in their college that it would be of no surprise if a guy's hand were getting deep inside a girl's wear in , say a library . GOD ! ... the very moment i heard of it one single thought came to my mind ... " even a strayed dog had this morality of not to go ahead with a bitch within the college premises "
... 'freewill' mortgaged for 'life' yeilded good , and the otherwise did the opposite to a farther extent ....

Turn on : Public display of affection

2008-11-11T19:48:00.000-08:00

Evening time , and surtis are out of their home . Gathering along every nook and corner of stalls , lined along the dumas road. But then there is something spicy creeping up too . Along dumas chopati or even in parks couples gather to start something i say ' dual entertainment' ... self and viewer's ... there is a beautifull chemistry going on among these couples . They have their own unspoken rules . I believe the first is " Do not stare at my partner . What would you expect one to react when spotted or being watched ?? ... well here they take a great pride . somewhere within their heart they feel a "DiCaprio and winslet" ...so when u close in as a viewer , be assured you'll be entertained to the fullest . The only risk is you run into is a cop mishap , you could probably be hearing a cop warning you " DONT DISTURB THEM , YOU IDIOT!!".... ya , i can understand why do these cops let them carry on .
The other day , me and my pal , ended up in a park with no where else to go. tired of walkin across when we sat to rest . The first thing that we faced was an unusual stare ." Sitting in the romance zone ? are they .... ?? " was probably what was in their minds . And by the time we realized what our neighbouring benchers where upto , cops arrived .They shouted from a distance " guys come over here " ... whom did he mean? ... was it us , me n my pal ? ... ya , the call was for us . And on a very unusual pretext we were indirectly asked to leave ,whereas the couples were least perturbed.
And before we left , we managed to look and realize what actually was the gal , sitting on her guy's laps and facing him , was doing if they were not jus kissing ... after all public romance is Dual Entertainment ...

yes , we can

2008-11-08T02:16:00.000-08:00

celebrations !! ... joy bursting out !! .. n y is tat ?? jus because obama made it to ta white house !!
why are these black power issues creeping up ? do these blacks thing that obama is gonna give them a free ration voucher or ne reservation like 23% for ivory dark guys, 12.5% for black origin and 7.5% for ta rest coloured ??.... n y do we being an indian have to feel great about him ?? remember , we did ta same even when Mr.Bush was elected and its cause of his erratic , the whole world's economy felt tremors as good as 9.5 on richter's scale . Frankly , cause of him , indirectly , i m forced 2 remain jobless till now
Obama cannot choose to be unique, financial constrains , previous foreign terms n many more things are not gonna let him be at his will .... he jus cannot carry bags of grains to kenya ( land of his forefathers ) to feed the needy ... neither can he reduce the inspection on muslims , which is so shamefull , just because its so unethical or , say more , because he is one nor can he dilute CIA's rigorous efforts to curb communism in south america ... i see in him a chained man , who , fortunately , can speak , can breed ideas, but will never be able to materialize them .... i say , consider them ta same ... yes , we can and we must..